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1、Unit3LyingTextATheTruthAboutLying1.Ivebeenwantingtowriteonasubjectthatintrigueschallengesme:thesubjectoflying.Ivefounditverydifficulttodo.EveryoneIvetalkedtohasaquiteintensepersonalbutoftenratherintolerantpointofviewabou
2、twhatwecan—cannevernever—tellliesabout.IvefinallyreachedtheconclusionthatIcantpresentanyultimateconclusionsftoomanypeoplewouldpromptlydisagree.InsteadIdliketopresentaseriesofmalpuzzlesallconcernedwithlying.Illtellyouwhat
3、Ithinkaboutthem.DoyouagreeSocialLies2.MostofthepeopleIvetalkedwithsaythattheyfindsociallyingacceptablenecessary.Theythinkitsthecivilizedwayffolkstobehave.Withouttheselittlewhiteliestheysayourrelationshipswouldbeshtbrutis
4、hnasty.Itsarroganttheysaytoinsistonbeingsoincruptiblesobravethatyoucauseotherpeopleunnecessaryembarrassmentpainbycompulsivelyassailingthemwithyourhonesty.Ibasicallyagree.Whataboutyou3.Willyousaytopeoplewhenitsimplyisnttr
5、ue“Ilikeyournewhairdo““Yourelookingmuchbetter““itssonicetoseeyou““Ihadawonderfultime“4.Willyoupraisehideouspresentshomelykids5.Willyoudeclineinvitationswith“Werebusythatnight—sosrywecantcome“whenthetruthisyoudratherstayh
6、omethandinewiththeSosos6.eventhoughasIdoyoumaypreferthepoliteevasionof“Youreallycookedupastm“insteadof“Thesoup“—whichtasteslikewarmedovercoffee—“iswonderful“willyouifyoumustproclaimitwonderful7.TheresonemanIknowwhoabsolu
7、telyrefusestotellsociallies.“Icantplaythatgame“hesays“Imsimplynotmadethatway.“hisanswertotheargumentthatsayingnicethingstosomeonedoesntcostanythingis“Yesitdoes—itdestroysyourcredibility.“Nowhewontunsolicitedofferhisviews
8、onthepaintingyoujustboughtbutyoudontaskhisfrankopinionunlessyouwantfrankhissilenceatthosemomentswhentherestofusliarsaremuttering“Isntitlovely“isfthemostparteloquentenough.Myfrienddoesnotindulgeinwhathecalls“flatteryfalse
9、praisemellifluouscomments.“Whenotherstellfibshewillnotgoalong.Hesaysthatsociallyingislyingthatlittlewhiteliesarestilllies.hefeelsthattellingliesismallywrong.WhataboutyouPeaceKeepingLiesgainbutbecausetheybelieveitsfthegoo
10、dofthepersontheyrelyingto.Theylietothosetheylovetothosewhotrustthemmostofallonthegroundsthatbreakingthistrustisjustified.19.Theymaylietotheirchildrenonmoneymaritalmatters.20.Theymaylietothedyingaboutthestateoftheirhealth
11、.21.Theymaylietotheirclosestfriendbecausethetruthabouthertalentssonpsychewouldbe—sotheyinsist—utterlydevastating.22.IsometimestellsuchliesbutImawarethatitsquitepresumptuoustoclaimIknowwhatsbestfotherstoknow.Thatscalledpl
12、ayingGod.Thatscalledmanipulationcontrol.wenevercanbesureoncewestarttojuggleliesjustwheretheylllexactlywheretheyllroll.23.furthermewemayfindourselveslyingindertobackuptheliesthatarebackingupthelieweinitiallytold.24.furthe
13、rme—letsbehonest—ifconditionswerereversedwecertainlywouldntwantanyonelyingtous.25.YethavingsaidallthatIstillbelievethattherearetimeswhenprotectiveliesmustnohelessbetold.WhataboutyouTrustKeepingLies26.Anothergroupofliesar
14、etrustkeepingliesliesthatinvolvetriangulationwithA(thatsyou)tellingliestoBonbehalfofC(whosetrustyoudpromisedtokeep).Mostpeopleconcedethatonceyouveagreednottobetrayafriendsconfidenceyoucantbetrayitevenifyoumustlie.ButIvet
15、alkedwithpeoplewhodontwantyoutellingthemanythingthattheymightbecalledontolieabout.27.“Idonttellliesfmyself“saysFran“Idontwanttohavetotellthemfotherpeople.“Whichmeanssheagreesthatifherbestfriendishavinganaffairsheabsolute
16、lydoesntwanttoknowaboutit.28.“Areyousaying“herbestfriendasks“thatyoudbetrayme“29.Franisverypainedbutveryadamant.“Iwouldntwanttobetrayyouso…donttellmeanythingaboutit.“30.Fransbestfriendisshocked.Whataboutyou31.Doyoubeliev
17、eyoucanhaveclosefriendsifyourenotpreparedtoreceivetheirdeepestsecrets32.Doyoubelieveyoumustalwaysliefyourfriends33.Doyoubelieveifyourfriendtellsasecretthatturnsouttobequiteimmalillegalthatonceyouvepromisedtokeepityoumust
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