英語(yǔ)幽默小故事6篇

1、1、Gooduseofcry哭的妙用Theparentswiththeirthreeyearoldsonwenttoseefilm.Whentheywalkedintothecinematheattendantsaidtothem“you’llhavetogooutifyoursoncries.Butwe’llrefundyouthetickets.”Abouthalfanhourlaterthehusbaskedhiswife“Wha

2、tdoyouthinkofthefilm”“I’veneverseensuchabingfilm.”Hiswifeanswered.“It’snotwthseeing.”“Idon’tthinkmuchofiteither.”Thehusbsaid.“Wakethechilduplethimcry.”一對(duì)夫婦帶著他們3歲的兒子去看電影。進(jìn)電影院時(shí)，服務(wù)員對(duì)他們說(shuō)：“如果你們的兒子哭了，你們就得出去。不過(guò)我們會(huì)給你們退票的?！贝蠹s半個(gè)小時(shí)

3、以后，丈夫?qū)ζ拮诱f(shuō)：“你覺(jué)得這電影怎么樣？”“我從沒(méi)看過(guò)這么沒(méi)勁的電影?！逼拮踊卮鹫f(shuō)，“真不值得看?！薄拔乙膊幌矚g看。”丈夫說(shuō)：“叫醒孩子，讓他哭?！?、WhataSmartWife家有笨妻Anewlymarriedwomanwassittingonachairlookingvexedwhenherhusbcamehome.“WhatsupWhydoyoulooksotroubled“thehusbasked.Thewomanrepli

4、ed“Imsosry.Iwasironingyournewsuit給病人一個(gè)調(diào)茶匙，一個(gè)茶杯和一個(gè)水桶去把浴缸里面的水放清?！薄班?，我明白了”，參觀者說(shuō)?！耙粋€(gè)正常人會(huì)選擇水桶，因?yàn)樗氨炔璩?，茶杯的體積大?！薄板e(cuò)了”，“院長(zhǎng)回答”“正常人會(huì)把浴缸塞子拔掉”。5、英文幽默老虎來(lái)了Twoguyswerewalkingthroughthejungle.Allofasuddenatigerappearsfromadistancerunning

5、towardsthem.Oneoftheguystakesoutapairof“Nikes“fromhisbagstartstoputthemon.Theotherguywithasurprisedlookexclaims“Doyouthinkyouwillrunfasterthanthetigerwiththose“Hisfriendreplies:“IdonthavetooutrunitIjusthavetorunfastertha

6、nyou.“兩個(gè)男人正在穿過(guò)叢林，突然，一只老虎出現(xiàn)在遠(yuǎn)處，向他們沖來(lái)。其中的一個(gè)人從包里拿出一雙“耐克”鞋，開(kāi)始穿上。另一個(gè)人驚奇地看著他說(shuō)，“你以為穿上這個(gè)就可以跑得過(guò)老虎嗎？”他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得過(guò)它，我只要跑得比你快就行了?！?、Another40Yearstolive再活40年Adleagedwomanhadaheartattackwastakentothehospital.Whileontheoperatingtab

7、leshehadaneardeathexperience.SeeingGodsheaskedifthiswasit.Godsaid“Noyouhaveanother43years2months8daystolive.“Uponrecoverythewomandecidedtostayinthehospitalhaveafaceliftlipsuctionbreastaugmentationtummytucketc.Sheevenhads

8、omeonecomeinchangeherhaircolfiguringsinceshehadsomuchmetimetoliveshemightaswellmakethemostofit.Shegotoutofthehospitalafterthelastoperationwhilecrossingthestreetwaskilledbyanambulancespeedingtothehospital.Arrivinginfronto

9、fGodshedemed“IthoughtyousaidIhadanother40Years“Godreplied“Ididntrecognizeyou.“一名中年婦女心臟病突發(fā)被送到了醫(yī)院，在手術(shù)臺(tái)上，瀕臨死亡之際，她看到了上帝，于是，她問(wèn)上帝是不是她的日子到頭了。上帝回答說(shuō)，“還沒(méi)有，你還能活43年，2個(gè)月零8天。”身體快要康復(fù)的時(shí)候，這名女士想到自己還要活那么多年，得好好對(duì)待自己，于是決定先不出院，而是去給自己整整容，吸吸脂，隆隆